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Joke of the Day

"Cannibal and Girlfriend What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wipe his ass."

"What do you call your grandma on speed dial? Instragram!"

"What do you call it when you hold a Jewish girl under the covers and fart? A dutch oven..."

"So afraid of commitment I only play ""Words With Acquaintances""."

"Me: How are you feeling Grandpa? Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly."

"Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"If a stranger catches you taking their photo, let them know it's okay by softly saying, ""Don't worry, this is just for me"""

"A black guy and a Mexican are riding a car. Who's driving? The police"

"I don't suffer insomnia like most tweeters do. I always get a solid 7, maybe 8 minutes of sleep every night."