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Joke of the Day

"What do Paint Samples and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come in little white cans..."

"It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons."

"What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune? Oh, Plebes."

"""honey why is our water bill so high?"" *water bill sits there holding a bong* hahahah duuuude i don't know man. DORITOS. DO WE HAVE DORITOS?"

"Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun) It was worth every Penne."

"What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic's Association"

"Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer? ""Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur"" I guess it is #rightprivilege"

"I want to live the kind of life that when St. Peter looks over my list of sins he gives me a high-five before he sends me to hell."

"Why did the Jamaican go to Syria? To get stoned"

"A lawyer, a high jumper and an Irish man walk up to a bar The lawyer passed it, the high jumper jumped over it and the Irish man went in and got wasted."