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Joke of the Day

"I think I'm gonna just be a rapper. apparently you need zero experience, and zero talent to be a millionaire in the rap game now?"

"*Brings 8 year old back to hospital nursery with receipt* This one doesn't listen anymore...Can I get a new one?"

"If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer"

"What's the difference between a gun and amnesia? Oh shoot, I forgot..."

"I like my women like I like my golf score In the low 80s with a slight handicap"

"Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist"

"My local barber was busted today for dealing drugs. I'm in shock. I've been a loyal customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber."

"How much citrus does it take to kill a pirate? None."

"I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? 4"