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Joke of the Day

"Hot Pringles in your area want you to jam your whole fist in their cans."

"What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts, the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"*Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?"

"My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? ""You know what else they can't get? Good jobs."" I received a write-up :("

"Two guys stole a calendar and divided it equally, but they got caught. They each got six months."

"My girlfriend of 5 years asked me... My girlfriend of 5 years asked me when was the last time I had sex with someone before her. I said ""back in '09"". It sounds much better than saying September."

"My friend overdosed on chill pills. On the plus side, he was by far the coolest person at the funeral."

"*jesus turns around to find only 11 apostles* ""WHO UNFOLLOWED ME"""

"Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this."

"I went to a Black Supremacy party last night, and I have to say it really wasn't all that bad. It was definitely cracka lackin'."