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Joke of the Day

"Studying abroad: Spending months in another country. Studying a broad: Spending months Facebook stalking Ashley."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? ""Hey, nice belt!"""

"[dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there"

"Cleavage is like the Sun, you can glance at it for only a second, but if you wear sunglasses, you can look much longer."

"Next time a conspiracy theorist says, ""That's what they want you to think,"" say, ""No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."""

"A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say farmer. Is that bull safe? Well he's a lot safer than you are right now!"

"Im sorry, but you only have two weeks to live *slides the doctor a five dollar bill* Ooooh make that 3 weeks buddy *winks at loved ones*"

"Got fired from my job at the deli for sticking my dick in the pickle slicer. The pickle slicer kept her job cuz she is the boss's daughter"

"not one character on the show Friends had a job that was a joke, was broke, or had a love life that was DOA."

"Jared likes his women like he likes his sandwiches 6 and 12"