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Joke of the Day

"Im sorry, but you only have two weeks to live *slides the doctor a five dollar bill* Ooooh make that 3 weeks buddy *winks at loved ones*"

"Classic Norm MacDonald joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGr_7p5Ti0Q"

"Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight. It was a pretty brazen act of violence."

"Girlfriend and I are visiting San Fran to finally see the Golden Gate in person. ""What are we going to do when we see it?"" she asks. ""We'll cross that bridge when we get there."""

"Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys"

"Why is Jesus gay? Ahhh men"

"Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking It's as hard as it is to start flossing - Mitch Hedberg I miss this man every day :("

"I like my women like I like my programming languages. Visual and basic"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"GENIE: you have three wishes. ME: sweet, I wish for pie. GENIE: okay, whatever, you have 3.14 wishes."