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Joke of the Day
"Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!"
Next Joke
"I asked a Jewish girl for her number... She rolled up her sleeve"
"So Jared Fogle is heading to prison. I wonder if he'll go for a six inch or try the footlong?"
"How do you titillate and ocelot? You oscillate it's tit a lot!"
"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."
"Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!"
"[me narrating a documentary about grasshoppers] And here we see these little liars hopping on sand."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh Ten-Tickles. ... I can't stop"
"Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane."
"I'm experiencing heavy call volumes. Please hang up and never call me again."