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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock -Who's there? -Interrupting cow with an identity crisis. -Interrupting cow w- -WOOF! WOOF!"

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? You don't tell her anything anymore, you've already explained twice."

"Four gay men are running around the track. Can you follow?"

"""asparagai"" is what i call multiple asparagus, but don't take my word for it. get your own word for multiple asparagus"

"Wild horses could easily drag me away from anything, even from my favorite activity. Wild horses are super crazy strong."

"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."

"Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine? Because Chernobyl fallout."

"Volvo was rated the safest car in America in '94. That's why Kurt Cobain had one, he didn't want to kill himself."

"I often ask myself, what would Jesus do?... ... then I realize I don't have time to just hang around all day."

"Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium"