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Joke of the Day

"Google Docs went to Nepal over the summer, came back like ""I'm Google DRIVE now,"" but we still called it Docs for the rest of college."

"When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom ""Are these my brains?"".""Not yet,"" she replied"

"I like the word ""panties"" so much I'm going to start using it in place of ""cool."" Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties."

"How did the hipster burn himself? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. ""My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather,"" she said."

"You know what's odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."

"I need to start buying Tupperware to store my leftovers before throwing them out two weeks later."

"I knew the psychic was a fraud the second she accepted my check"

"What's the difference between a black person and a bench? One can support a family"

"No Grandma, he has a hair piece, not herpes"