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Joke of the Day
""" Wake up, little Suuuzzie, wake up "" - The Everly Brothers accidentally kill another hooker"
Next Joke
"""What do we want?!"" ""TIME TRAVEL!"" ""When do we want it?!"" ""IRRELEVANT!"""
"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine? A: Nobody knows, but whatever it is, it knits its own sweaters."
"Worst Betrayals in History: - Judas turning on Jesus - Brutus helping to murder Caesar - Verizon guy going to work for Sprint"
"Why do girls wear so much make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."
"Festive Fact: Women who put on weight over the festive period are 98% more likely to live longer than their partners who point it out."
"Why don't German pessimists eat pork.... They always fear the wurst."
"A silly little joke I just made up about schizophrenia Person 1: I'm not schizophrenic! Person 2: I never said you were. Person 1: Oh, sorry, I guess I must be hearing things."
"Before takeoff our flight attendant asked everyone to turn off their Samsung Galaxy phones You know, the ones with the headphone jack"
"Think training raptors is tough? Imagine Dragons."