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Joke of the Day

"Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion? Because he was a slave to the cistern!"

"I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth."

"""It's a boy!"" Mario shouted. ""It's a boy!"" With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again."

"Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already."

"My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates."

"Have you heard of the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines everywhere."

"What does Mozart put on his front lawn? Metrognomes"

"Michael Strahan has a line of clothing at JC Penneys I think the Gap would be more appropriate."

"Use of the word ""irony"" should be avoided, ironically enough."

"How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns."