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Joke of the Day

"Sick of the media always blaming video games for the rise in fantastical jewel-seeking quests."

"If anyone needs me, I'll be over at facebook, actin' creepy."

"I heard a great joke in the elevator today It was funny on so many levels."

"Why did the Fonz have red eyes? Because he had **AYYY** fever!"

"""And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....Little boy blue and the man on the moon"" ...Drugs in the 70's must've been AWESOME!"

"I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women So I went every day for three months. Bad news is I didn't meet a girl. Good news is I can now give myself a blowjob."

"I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me"

"I was hoping to be friends with benefits.. because my health insurance sucks!"

"There's nothing more awkward than... There's nothing more awkward than throwing a surprise party for a psychic."

"Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter? Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation."