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Joke of the Day
"I had an out-of-body-wash experience in the shower today."
Next Joke
"It's not you.. It's me. And my inability to tolerate you any longer."
"A police officer just knocked on my door... and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Pfft, my dogs don't even own bikes, idiot."
"There's an Anti-Parallelogram Party tonight. Be there, or be square."
"IS your father in prison? If I was your father I would be in prison."
"Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse? Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there."
"The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn't like him anyway."
"I hate how Apple took away the headphone socket all willy-nilly It's like it means jack shit to them"
"Don't be silly, I'm not objectifying women. I'm not sexually attracted to objects."
"I'm shocked... Turns out toasters aren't waterproof."