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Joke of the Day

"If anyone needs me, I'll be over at facebook, actin' creepy."

"What is a cow's favorite Bob Seger song? Night moooves. Sorry..."

"I'm really disappointed after hearing about Trump and the golden shower thing. I thought we had seen the end of republican trickle down economics."

"Why did the cookie not laugh at your joke? Because it was crumby."

"Whats worse than Bad command or File name? Windows update message asking you to restart your computer"

"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"

"What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines. (Stolen shamelessly from Seinfeld)"

"How many 210 lb policemen does it take to throw a 140 lb suspect down 3 flights of stairs? None, he fell."

"Small problem with Donald Trump's like logic. Yes Donald, you can build a wall, yes you can make the Mexican's pay for it. But who's gonna build the wall?"

"Judging by how many people brazenly wander into traffic while staring at their phone, there must be some force-field app I don't know about."