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Joke of the Day

"Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend."

"Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7. But that's very health, Mr Johnson. It would be but I don't wake up until 8"

"A woman asks her Milkman to fill her bath with milk.. He asks ""Do you want that milk pasteurised?"", She replies ""No, just up to my boobs please."""

"If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?"

"What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop? A spokesperson."

"My favorite Bible story is the one where thousands more people show up to Jesus' party than RSVP'd but he still had enough cake for everyone"

"""Don't knock it till you tried it!"" Doesn't help your defence in court."

"You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup."

"For years I thought the ghost in my house was trying to scare me, turns out he was just booing my awful jokes"

"I read in the paper about a hooker starting her own business.... They said that she had a good soft-opening."