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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I booped your nose when you said that you loved me."

"Ever since my wife's miscarriage she's been drinking a lot Which is ironic because thats how she got into this situation"

"So a woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."

"You have so much potential But no kinetic energy, therefore you will never go anywhere in life."

"If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."

"If you haven't logged onto Facebook for awhile, Judy Ann Ross from 10th grade algebra is enjoying a chicken salad sandwich right now."

"My Twitter clique is basically five or six people who have mistaken me for someone else."

"You heard about the concert last friday? Heard it was hardcore. Some people went ballistic."

"What's the best part about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere!!"

"if I ever go missing, it won't be hiking. you guys don't even have to look there."