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Joke of the Day

"ME [Puts up ""Have u seen my dog?"" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome"

"I recently invented a new word to describe a lot of the jokes on the subreddit. Plagiarism."

"Mouth piercings look like robot herpes."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer this morning... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!"

"If you told me 100% of serial killers were ""morning people"" I'd believe you."

"I used to make a living crushing cans. It was soda pressing."

"What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"

"Robin Williams isn't dead He just retired, he's on a beach somewhere sipping mimosas and watching the sun rise. Hope you finally found your peace."

"Why do Jewish people have big noses? Air is free...."

"You call it laziness', I call it laziness' too because I don't feel like coming up with an alternate excuse."