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Joke of the Day

"I only want to make enough money so that I don't ever have to know how anything works"

"Why was the homeless man unsuccessful at stand-up comedy? Because his jokes were always in poor taste .."

"Why is th earth so mean? Because it has a lattitude problem."

"Why did the picture go to jail? because it was framed."

"Whatever, Twitter makes me a safer driver. Now I stop at every red light, even the lights that I think may change in the next minute or two."

"Did you hear about the zoo with only one dog? It was a shit zoo"

"Why did the shark cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!"

"A man is sitting at home when he hears someone knocking at the door Knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""Fibonacci"""

"Vegans have a special acronym for 'Today I Fucked Up' TOFU"

"My favorite part of football is when players ""look to God."" Because He's all, ""I can't do shit for the Middle East but I'm rooting for YOU."""