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Joke of the Day

"Whatever, Twitter makes me a safer driver. Now I stop at every red light, even the lights that I think may change in the next minute or two."

Next Joke
 
"Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often"
"What is the clumsiest bee? A bumbling bee."
"""Sexting"" is the sending of sexually explicit text and picture messages. It is not, apparently, an appropriate way to submit a resume."
"Ex-homeless man with ""golden voice"" announced he's running for president... Marking the first time Donald Trump has hated anything golden."
"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years. I don't have 2020 vision."
"How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house? Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway."
"I had sex with a prostitute the other night... It turned out to be a rash decision."
"Weird how Superman's an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China"
"What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it."