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Joke of the Day
"What does the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"
Next Joke
"Guy told me I have ""Bambi eyes""...is that even a compliment? Oh god, please don't shoot my mother."
"Knock Knock Somebody knocks on door: - Who is there? - Police? - What do you want? - We want to talk. - How many of you are there? - Two. - So talk with each other."
"Does killing time damage eternity?"
"What's the smallest instrument in the world? An e-lectron."
"I plan to scary-haunt anyone who says ""she wouldn't want us to be sad"" at my funeral. If you're not sad that I'm gone forever you deserve it"
"Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race? (WTF?) His thighs were burning too bad."
"Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."
"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded Jew? All the ones I have met have been Jew-ish"
"SEX RESULTS Sex shouldn't result in pregnancy. If we were perfect beings, sex would have two functions: for pleasure and to complicate friendships."