228526

Joke of the Day

"[Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella] Prince Charming: Um... well. Tell ya what, I'm gonna keep on looking."

"Why are pornstars so religious? They keep yelling 'oh God yes!' all the time."

"Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth."

"How to get out of school Tell the school you are sikh"

"Why did the stand up comic quit comedy to become a obstetrician? He needed to work on his delivery."

"If you want to work for a company that makes moisturiser, the best thing to do is to apply daily."

"What key opens a banana? A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey."

"Dark Humor is like food not everyone has it"

"""if you could be any animal what would you be"" a cat ""why a cat"" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff"

"Throwing a life preserver to someone drowning in boiling oil is a futile act... Unless of course that life preserver is made of dough."