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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the blond who got hurt while raking leaves? she fell off the tree."
Next Joke
"A doctor, an Englishman, a lawyer, an Irishman, a priest, a Scotsman, a cop, a midget, a fireman and a blonde walk into a bar.... The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""
"What's the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats."
"Is your smart fridge running? ""Yes? Well can you turn the damn thing off, it's breaking the Internet!"""
"What's the opposite to Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!"
"I'm not sure if putting Christmas lights up would offend my Jewish neighbours. So just to be sure, i'll hang a massive swastika in my window too."
"My favorite new song is either that one from the Samsung commercial, or the one from the Budweiser commercial."
"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork."
"Me: *gets all four daughters dressed* Wife: I want everyone in Christmas dresses. Me: But- Wife: Everyone. Me: Fine. *puts on my dress*"
"Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove it wasn't a chicken!"