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Joke of the Day

"Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat? He didn't get a good knight's leap. Wakka wakka!"

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"I met this super nice girl on tinder..."
"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"
"What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre"
"What's black, grey, and red all over? A gorilla with a child in the enclosure."
"Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here"
"weed is a gateway drug. *opens gate* Welcome To CoolFunLand"
"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat"
"Other jokes like, ""If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?"" Just looking for some jokes similar to this one, playing on opposites and such."
"Why do Australians suck at chess? Because they keep saying ""checkmate"" when the game's not over."