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Joke of the Day

"What I know about you has earned my attention. What I don't know about you is what makes you interesting."

"I like my children how I like my essays. Unplanned and poorly executed"

"Imitation is... While imitation may be the highest form of flattery, I prefer the verbal kind. I also accept cash."

"Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater."

"The Queen is what she drinks... Royalty [ I hope this isn't a repost. I thought of it on my own]"

"A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?"

"What do you call an underwater dog? Scuba Doo"

"A large marine mammal was recently in Cardiff. It had a Wales of a time."

"I let my kids follow their dreams, unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for 6-8 more weeks."

"What did one condom say to another? Let's go to the gay bar and get shit faced."