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Joke of the Day

"What did Hannibal Lecter say when he met a sexy Black Panther at a cannibal convention? I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers."

"Why did the chicken lock itself in the freezer? to get to the other side."

"Which sex position gives birth to the mostly ugly children? Ask your mom"

"*i before e except after c. Unless you're an 8yo heir planning a heist to seize a surveillance sleigh owned by a sheik at a reindeer farm."

"Did you hear about the tap dancer? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink."

"Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego."

"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."

"If I had to choose between a rope or the inclined set of steps.... I would opt for the latter."

"I've tried all week long and still haven't been able to teach this baby how to Dougie. Does anyone know the return policy in these things?"

"Hi, childless people. I just meticulously peeled the skin off a pickle. Cuz the pickle was ""bumpy."" Enjoy your day. Not de-bumping pickles."