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Joke of the Day

"If I had to choose between a rope or the inclined set of steps.... I would opt for the latter."

"The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother."

"What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites? Creamation."

"Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed"

"I used to work at a calendar store But they fired me for taking a day off."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Patty!"

"I like my women how I like my coffee Sealed in an airtight bag in the freezer"

"What's the difference between the number 3 and David Cameron? One's a prime number, the other's a prime minister."

"After watching how stressful it was for Clark Kent's dad, I don't know if I could adopt a kid from a blown-up planet."

"I would vote for Trump if I could because I've never seen a president get assassinated"