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Joke of the Day

"I sexually identify as a counter strike. I find this globally offensive."

"What do you get when you cross a gay man and a jew? A hit Brodway show"

"The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."

"I had to stop my blonde sister from eating pickles I got tired of having to pry the damn jar off of her head"

"You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don't scroll through the rest of their photos."

"I wish black people took jokes... ...as well as they took bullets."

"You don't need to hold a girl's hand during an abortion... There's a handrail next to the toilet."

"Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position."

"The early bird needs to shut the fcuk up."

"I was told that at birth I had a choice between perfect memory or a big penis. ""I fucking remember"" i replied"