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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a pig with a tree A porcupine"

"Lately I'm very optimistic about the future of my marriage... I caught my husband on Tinder, so hopefully he'll meet somebody... soon..."

"Two satellites got married the wedding was okay, but the reception was incredible!"

"Why did the Kremlin sacrifice 8.7 million soldiers during WWII? They were just Stalin for time."

"I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance."

"Why couldn't Biggy or Tupac ever get decent internet on their phones? They were just 2G's"

"911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?"

"""Why am I not asleep?"" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away."

"Running out of time to be a Trophy Wife, so now just hoping to be an I Finished The Race Tshirt Wife."

"[job interview] ""Tell me a strength."" I'm a decision maker. ""Excellent. How about a weakness?"" I'm a bad decision maker."