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Joke of the Day

"Where does the CIA buy its groceries? Whole Foods"

"""How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars,"" I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead"

"do you have any idea how fast you were going? ""no, I'm not wearing my contacts"""

"Do you know why I only date black girls? Because I hate the awkwardness of meeting a girlfriend's dad"

"Shout out to all the sassy receptionists out there. I won't even go near businesses that don't have sassy as hell receptionists."

"What do you call two lesbians in a canoe..... Fur Traders"

"My doctor accidentally mixed my Viagra with laxitives I didn't know whether I was coming or going!"

"I saw Lenin pick his nose the other day... Communists have no class..."

"I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume."

"What did the New York Salmon say to the driver? I'm swimming here!"