131002

Joke of the Day

"You know, they said it would take a few years for my medical practice to get off the ground... But I just don't have the patients."

"What do you tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)"

"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They like to keep their subscribers in the dark."

"A wizard walked into a gay bar and disappeared with a poof"

"I went fishing but didn't catch any fish It was a failure."

"A pet hedgehog. Because you don't have enough pricks in your life."

"Can someone just tell me which guy Bridget Jones ends up with? I keep killing myself before the end of the movie."

"Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? ""I'm not. that. innocent."" *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*"

"Today I was on the treadmill for over an hour. I was so pleased with my progress that tomorrow I might actually turn it on"

"Only a woman can make you a millionaire if you are a billionaire."