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Joke of the Day

"Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy."

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"Why do the Kurds have no state of their own? They didn't get their whey."
"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being special."
"My maths teacher is like a line that touches a point on a curve He goes on a tangent but he always gets to the point."
"I got a new pair of gloves today but they're both 'lefts' Which, on the one hand, is great"
"What do you call a Totalitarian ass who remixes other people's speeches? D.J. T-Rump"
"What is a specimen? An Italian astronaut."
"Build a man a fire, he remains warm for the day But set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life"
"This chick on Instagram posts so many pictures of her boyfriend I feel like I'm dating him."
"Out of all the lies I've ever told, ""Just kidding"" is my favourite."