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Joke of the Day

"Today is national suicide prevention day.. so remember.. If you see any suicide bombers...... Shoot them."

"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."

"I'm against plastic surgery, but it's also horrifying what people are supposed to really look like."

"Pretty sure my dog is even ashamed of me right now, and I've seen him do some questionable shit. Don't ask."

"There was a massive explosion at a French cheese factory this morning... All that remains is de brie."

"Chicken pot pie. My three favourite things."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor."""

"What's a blonde with a shotgun in wheat field? .. A cereal killer !"

"Girls think I'm ugly, until they find out how much money I make... ...then they think I'm ugly and poor."

"I was tired of the fascist dictator who ran the Bird Imitators Society.. So I took control with a violent coup."