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Joke of the Day

"how many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they just beat it for being black!"

"What would happen if Donald Trump was about to be assassinated? Secret Service would shout ""Donald, Duck!"""

"Me: And what do you do if I tell you I'm having a heart attack? Siri: I clear your browser history. Me: That's right darling."

"my favorite game is called ""Secret Family."" I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me"

"You know why I hate Cancer? I have crabs. *(Zodiac)*"

"What do you call a blind trig function? Se-cant."

"I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby.... But I have no clue how to make an iPhone..."

"Name your kid Basil and see what happens. BEST case scenario he spends hours a day updating Wikipedia."

"What does an expensive circumcision have in common with a cheap circumcision? They're both a rip-off."

"75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy"