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Joke of the Day

"What did the Muslim Terrorist say when he bombed Hawaii? Oahu Akbar!"

"A woman walks into a green grocers. She asks the man behind the counter for a cucumber. He asks her: ""Whole or sliced?"" She replies: ""I've got a fanny, not a fucking slot machine!"""

"I went to subway today, and they gave me the wrong sandwich oops, wrong sub."

"I hate three things (1) Posting on /r/Jokes (2) Lists (3) Irony"

"What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans."

"I think gambling hotlines would be more effective if every fifth caller won a prize."

"I dunno if a gun would be my murder weapon of choice but it's worth a shot."

"When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, ""I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"""

"Boss: Read me one of your funny tweets Me: Not right now I'm working Boss: Bahahahaha tell me another one"

"Women never find it devilishly charming when I follow them into the lady's room. Thanks a lot, ""Top Gun""."