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Joke of the Day

"It's funny how Gina who cheated on me in 9th grade because I was ""too much of a prude"" is now a Catholic school teacher."

"The hardest part of eating a vegetable... Is the wheelchair."

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"Why do Welshmen like to embarrass their wives? It makes them rather sheepish."

"I got a free wallet and watch today. It's like this gun is magic."

"What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ? Enough drumsticks to feed an army !"

"""You seen my cell phone?...What's it look like? Like two horses fucking. It's a phone, son. It looks like a phone."""

"ISIS frequently takes credit for random attacks even when they had nothing to do with them, making ISIS basically the Fat Jew of terrorism"

"Not all my tweets are true. For example if ""sex"" and ""lack"" are not in the same tweet then the polygraph will probably run out of ink."

"Have you ever seen Ray Charles's mansion? Neither has he."