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Joke of the Day
"I like to think of myself not so much as a terrible driver, but an awesome stunt woman."
Next Joke
"Add 5 years onto your age That's how old you'll be in 5 years."
"Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !"
"Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight."
"The age old question... The age old question, if I paint my car black will it stop working or will it run faster?"
"I can usually tell how productive I've been at work, by the battery life of my phone."
"Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*"
"""It's been so cold lately..."" ""It's been so cold lately, that I think I saw a few democrats with their hands in their own pockets."""
"FYI wearing camouflage at your desk so no one sees you masturbating doesn't work."
"What causes something to go up and then down? Viagra falls"