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Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? Depends how hard you throw them."

"I wish my car could put its hands in its pockets and whistle when I drive by a cop."

"How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb? Five... six... seven... eight!"

"[opens treasure chest & it's full of treasure] Me: whoa Friend: what is it? Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders"

"Mike tyson needed to beat his trainer to move up from 11th place in a tournament. He couldn't beat his trainer because he was in tenth."

"Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures? Because they always try to mess with his nails."

"There's a new TV show on AMC about people who run away from grains and wheat. I hear they call it The Walking Bread."

"Women on twitter tell me my beard is hot Women in real life tell me where I can find food and shelter ."

"Did you hear the score of the Germany Vs Ethiopia game? Germany 8, Ethiopia didn't."

"What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle? Life."