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Joke of the Day

"Mike tyson needed to beat his trainer to move up from 11th place in a tournament. He couldn't beat his trainer because he was in tenth."

"Mark Twain Quote ""Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."""

"At my soccer game, the referee looked a lot like Edward Snowden... What a whistle blower."

"I got a new job breaking up suicidal couples. I'm not very good at it, two of them already tied the knot."

"I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day"

"I talked to a cannibal dog yesterday... He said it was a real dog-eat-dog world."

"I dropped my nokia in the toilet didn't bother me since it's always been shitty."

"Guys, you're spraying on too much. It's a reason the word ""cologne"" rhymes with ""alone""."

"Can you lmb? person 2: what? lace my boots 2: ok I guess I can so you can lmb? 2: yeah I can lmb wait, you want to lick my balls??? wtf"

"When everyone was giving apples to their teachers, I was the one giving cucumbers... Still to this day, Mr. Smith won't look me in the eyes."