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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts."

"new shoes, new outlook on life. I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. Don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all week."

"A man goes to a doctor for a check up. The doctor asks him if he has any sexually transmitted diseases. To which the man replied, ""Yes. I have two children."""

"Why did the boy throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly."

"Don't know why some countries have food problems If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan."

"Apparently ""I don't like scary movies,"" is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video."

"If time-outs have tought me anything, It's that doing something wrong gets you time for peace,quiet,and solidarity. In a place called jail."

"Took me three hours to drive home through the snow, but it was worth it because when I got home, my family totally ignored me."

"overheard some guy say ""finals week sucks."" little does he know, everything sucks"

"If I say ""Bloody Mary"" three times in the mirror in the dark I get a free drink, right?"