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Joke of the Day

"In High School they used to call me Big Tim, but it wasn't because of my height, Ladies ;).... .....its because I was Morbidly Obese."

"Why was Pinocchio acting drunk? He couldn't handle his lacquer"

"What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? Hoppalong Cassidy."

"I'm really glad I'm taking physics... ...because although my grade falling, at least I can calculate it's velocity."

"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"

"A cockroach walks into a bar... A cockroach walks into a bar and says ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free? The Internship"

"I can hear my girlfriend in the other room cleaning up my cat's pee. As soon as I think she's done, I'm going to yell out ""I'll do it babe!"""

"A man sitting in a barber's chair noticed that the barber's hands were very dirty. When he commented on this the barber explained ""Yes sir no one's been in for a shampoo yet."""

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain"