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Joke of the Day

"What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night? Hit the sack."

"Baby seal So a baby seal walks into a club..."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Let's go ride bikes!"

"If I had a nickel for every time I jerked off... I'd be a jizzillionaire!"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It'll kill your dog."

"I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's."

"You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse."

"[dinner at brother's house] ""So where are the kids?"" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*"

"Umm, when someone posts that they're having a bad day, I don't think it's proper Facebook etiquette to ""like"" their status."

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's a fucking skeleton. He's dead and shit."