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Joke of the Day
"Baby seal So a baby seal walks into a club..."
Next Joke
"My mom says I procrastinate... But I'll deal with that later"
"I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said ""Meet my fiance, Beyonce"" and I was like ""That rhymes, you should rap!"" and we laughed and he sold me crack."
"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice & dump in a can of peas. When the bear comes to take a pea, ya kick him in the ice-hole."
"*crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok"
"I used to be a street performer But I could only accept credit cards; it didn't make any cents."
"if you don't appreciate Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless"
"God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round.......and laughed and laughed and laughed."
"What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner? Putout"
"I've found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore."