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Joke of the Day

"New York record days without homicide is a lie. Turns out the guy responsible for updating the homicide-toll has been found dead at his desk with a knife in his back."

Next Joke
 
"Dating. I met my wife at a Singles Bar. Funny thing is, I thought she was at home looking after the kids."
"A lot of times you put up a tweet and at first it doesn't seem like it's going to do very well and then BOOM: you make 1 million dollars"
"She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this ""we"" shit? I'm having plenty."
"Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions"
"Why don't Jews eat pussy? Because its too close to the gas chamber!"
"Did you hear about the guy who got hit on the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."
"How to make someone disappear from your life forever. Ask them to pay you back."
"Enrage the one you love today with a calm, rational explanation."
"What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisey noise annoys an oyster!"