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Joke of the Day

"How to make someone disappear from your life forever. Ask them to pay you back."

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"Whoever has my voodoo doll out there ... please scratch between my shoulder blades."
"I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems The pitch is easy. All I do is say ""Good morning"". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed."
"If you're in a hot dog eating contest, poop on the table, and then while everyone is too grossed out to eat, just finish one hot dog."
"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth."
"If I had a dollar for every joke I've recycled I would have a lot since this is a popular style of joke"
"So Candlejack walks into a ba"
"I have an outstanding credit score and even know a dude named Tanner but I'm still not white enough to drink pumpkin beer."
"If you ever meet me please remember that I literally have a headache all the time"
"If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me."