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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a straight Godzilla fan? Hedorahsexual"

"Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. ""EVERYONE?"" he chuckles to himself. ""7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space."""

"So I attempted to set my new password to p3n1s... It told me that my password wasn't long enough."

"I keep getting scolded for things I didn't do! ""What didn't you do?"" ""My homework"""

"[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE"

"Why did the little boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a car"

"I just watched a tumbleweed get blown across the road. I'm so jealous."

"According to the stores .I should be in a Halloween costume, sitting under a Christmas tree eating turkey . I'm so confused."

"What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France? If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture."

"I always hate going into my cousin's house. He vapes e-cigarettes constantly... ...so whenever I leave there, I end up smelling like an ashlesstray."