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Joke of the Day
"NSFW how did the mother know her daughter was on her period? Daddy's dick tasted funny"
Next Joke
"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"
"Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid."
"CIA DIRECTOR: if u take this deep undercover assignment, u will have to give up ur own name forever STUART GIGGLEDICK: not an issue, sir"
"Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation. He said he would bring change, not take it away."
"What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state capital? Albunny New York!"
"That awkward moment when someone says ""stop"", and you don't know whether to respond with ""collaborate and listen"" or ""hammer time."""
"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your weaknesses"" I can be very stubborn ""Will you please elaborate?"" I will not"
"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"
"GF told me she wanted to write her ""biography"" & I said ""autobiography"" & now there's a chapter where I sleep at my place."