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Joke of the Day

"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"

Next Joke
 
"Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you."
"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her."
"Why didn't the vampire feed off of Taylor Swift? She had Bad Blood."
"How do you know that ET is a Donald Trump supporter? Because he looks like one."
"Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do? - A: Light mouse work."
"When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop."
"Its funny how guys always say they would give their left nut to do something awesome. Why is the right nut so much cooler than the left nut?"
"I'll take a Clooney, and 2 Upton's please. Turned to my wife and said, ""Amazon is buying Twitch for 1 billion. She said ""the dancer?"" . . yea hun, the dancer."
"Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball? They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)"