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Joke of the Day

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Mrs. Pac-Man, for 25c she swallowed balls until she died"

"Who was the largest knight at the Round Table? Sir Cumference. Why was he so fat? He ate too much pie."

"This is a terrible week for Thanksgiving This time, Turkey is doing the roasting ijusthadtoimsosorry"

"Cop: How much have you had to drink? Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel"

"What do you call a flying pig? Swine flu"

"Dead baby joke What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe? I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time"

"A cop pulled me over and said ""papers"". I said, ""scissors, I win"" and drove off."

"What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie? One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin"

"What can a homeless figure skater do to get by? Turn-tricks"

"I can accomplish great things if I apply myself... At least that's what a high school guidance counselor with a shit job and a bottle of whiskey in his desk told me once."