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Joke of the Day

"You wanna see the most dangerous animal in the world mate? Go look in the mirror. (I've locked an adult male puma in their bathroom)"

"What does soylent green taste like? It varies from person to person."

"Calm down white moms on dish detergent commercials, no wife is EVER that excited about dishes. Ever."

"It's black, and when it falls out of a tree your piano breaks. Your piano."

"Why don't Jewish cannibals eat Germans? Because they give them gas."

"""Go left at the chopsticks in the road"" - Chinese directions"

"I'm often accused of being condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"Cows... What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef... What do you call a cow with one leg? Lean beef... What do you call a cow with two legs? A Texan..."

"How do two lesbians pass their time when on their period? Finger painting."

"I've got a ""bun"" (baby) in the ""oven"" (oven)!"