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Joke of the Day

"Marriage is for people who want their break ups to involve paperwork."

"It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver they're under a lot of pressure."

"How can you tell when a man pumping gas is a male porn star? Right before the gas stops pumping, he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car."

"You know, this conspiracy with the Patriots has left me deflated."

"From my 8 year old: What's brown and rhymes with poop? Snoop Dogg"

"The cool thing about shaving all my pubes off is that I get to see exactly what my penis looked like when I was first born."

"I thought I had Tinnitus but the doctor said it was all in my head."

"Why do breasts have nipples? Because without them they would be pointless."

"Grandson convinced his grandmother to make an email account. Grandson: Look, Grandma. Somebody already sent you an email. *(Click)* Grandmother: Why would I want to enlarge my penis?"

"When I ask someone what their name is, why do I never actually listen to their answer?"